Ask Not What Your Government Can Do For You…

US Gov'tAsk what you can trust the Feds to do and not fuck it up.

I got to thinking about what each citizen of the U.S. can really expect from her federal government. I’d watched parents of teens lost in Haiti after the earthquake almost demanding “The United States of America” get down there and start digging for their daughters.

And while I can empathizes with that angry desperation of helplessness, I find it far-fetched to think that’s gonna happen. Even if it was a simple question of finding another missing high-schooler on another small island country (a la Natalee Holloway), parents shouldn’t depend on their tax dollars to fund out-of-country rescue missions or murder investigations.

Off the top of my head, I came up with the postal service and interstate highways as two things I ass-u-me the Feds are handling. Now, don’t complicate the system with Anthrax or ice storms, but for the most part, Big Brother can get your mail or your mini-van from sea to shining sea.

The CDC over-hyped the H1N1 pandemic. but under-delivered on its vaccine. Good thing it was only the Swine Flu and not the Bubonic Plague.

When Jimmy Carter created FEMA in 1979, its job was to prepare its people for disasters and respond effectively after those acts of natures occur. Since 2003, “terrorism damage mitigation” has become a key part of FEMA’s duties. But we can’t track hijackers and bombers on Doppler Radar for five days before they hit the coast, like we could with Hurricane Katrina. And remember, even with fair warning, what a catastrophe that turned into!

The government appears good at spreading its troops too thin; giving away our money and making a buncha promises it has no intension of keeping.

So if you think I’m gonna entrust the academic and moral education of my beloved child to a system that, when push comes to shove, is incapable of delivering the goods, then I’ve got a house trailer in New Orleans to sell you – cheap!

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